Question of the Month: What Makes a Best Friend?

People often ask me friend (especially my mom) why I don't consider people I talk to a lot my best friend. Sometimes I wish I could replace that word 'best' with something else. Even then the ones that are truly close to me I don't think that even begins to describe them. I just know when I think about them that no matter what I want to be there for them and the love I have for them can't be measured. I had to think long and hard about this one (so many edits to this post) because I know this is touchy and I could possibly offend someone. So if you are please speak to me privately. I'm just expressing what I think.

It takes so much to get me to even call someone a close friend. I know people go in and out of my life quickly. This is usually because we stop talking or we don't hang out as much or because we don't have the same classes. That's why I don't try to get in so deep with them because sooner or later I know they might just have to leave my life. That in itself is painful. So calling someone my best friend takes a lot more. (We seriously need to come up with a new label. wait how bout dear friend.)

Currently, I have three. And all three are very different. Which I enjoy because it's nice that we all balance each other out. Literally they do, balance me out. I can line them up and put them in a line where we are in liberal to conservative spectrum. But it's more than their differences that make me happy to be around them. What makes them that way to me?

For the first two I can honestly say because we've been joined nearly to the hip since high school. I met the two of them separately freshmen year and they met (well talked to each other more) between junior and senior year. After that I think the rest was history. The thing that connected us was our similar interest, but what made me this close to them it was because no matter what we made time for each other. So by the time we graduated we kept seeing each other as much as we could. Trying new things, exploring and just gaining new experiences with each other. Such as Korean BBQ, our love for BIG BANG (I will never understand fully your love for T.O.P guys.) and just checking out new places to hang out at. And in the past we wouldn't go into details of our personal woes (though I would when it was appropriate and I was alone with them.), chibi calls it 'feeling time', it is only now we share deeper things and go to each other for advice but I think it's cause we went through high school together and the pains of it it's what made us stick together. But I would say quality time spent with one another has kept us together.

The third...so much could be said about him. In the short two years I've known him, he's as close to me as they are, maybe a little closer? I'm so thankful that during the time I didn't have the other two around, when we were on our own paths making new friends and growing on our own (it helped us grow closer but yeah it still hurt to be away from them) that I found a friend in him. It's just with him it's different. Different not because of the amount time I talked with him but I guess the quality of time I spent with him. And...I think there's just something about him that is friendly and open. At least that's what he showed me and keeps showing me no matter how scared sometimes I am to share with him. I know spending time building friendship with him is important but at times it isn't easy with the distance and schedule differences. I do think about him more often than not, wishing I could spend time with in person, having adventures like I do with my two other best friends or even just spending a lazy day at home just talking. (one goal, personally for me, is to do a photoshoot of him. He styles himself very well!! It's like looking at well..okay even k-pop idols can't compare cause he's real and does it effortlessly. Well it seems like it to me.) Even thinking often 'too bad I couldn't have the three of them together on christmas for korean bbq' (guys seriously if you read this can we have that?) Just it isn't possible. So people ask why he is close or closer? I think...it's because of the level of trust I have in him. I think that's what ties all my best friends together. That the trust I have in the them and the transparency I can have with them. It started with him though, I didn't know I could have that with the other two because we were separated at the time and when circumstances in my life changed. ESPECIALLY when I started to change personally. While my friends couldn't see it and didn't go with me through it (it's okay in all respect I wasn't there to see their changes either). He was there first to see and go through it with me and actually gave me some courage to live how I wanted to live. Even now, he still accepts me as I am and as do they even though they just saw the after effects. Despite my few underlying fears at times that cause me to keep silent about certain things but he always tries to remind me that it's okay just need to keep that in mind even when I feel it's hard. I think that's what I appreciate in a really dear friend.

So in short for me a 'best' dear friend to me is someone I can trust with everything I have and be so transparent that they sometimes they know just what I will do next (though...only one of them points it out at times makes self conscious at times and then makes wonder how the heck does he have time to watch every expression I make and attach it to every emotion I have.). And finally accept me for who I am. I think everyone craves that. I'm just very happy I found them in three people and hope we will always try to keep in touch no matter what.

At this moment, I sorely miss the each of them and wish I could see them as much as I wish to. I can't though, so I have to deal with the cards that's given me and even though my life maybe busy those three are always on my minds. What they're doing, how they're doing, if they're okay and what's new about them. But yeah..guys korean bbq christmas or sometime soon we need to make that happen. I promise I won't put you guys through cue (Even thought it's very tempting.)

To Chibi, Lulu and Ya-kun thank you guys for being there for me. Love you all!!

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How should I describe myself? Should I go into a long rant about me and what I like? Or is a list easier for your eyes? I think a small paragraph should do.

Music is my passion with modern Asian music, such as k-pop, j-pop and j-rock etc., writing is my joy and photography is my growing love. Food is the best way to socialize and fashion is my way to know that I put my shirt on correctly.